In all relationships, there first exists attraction. As the relationship proceeds, it proceeds according to its compensatory desire. We all want to feel good, and this is the attraction to the use of alcohol and drugs, and just as any want that is not validated, negotiated, and compromised, in a word, RESPECTED, then the want to feel good transitions into the need to feel good. As the relationship continues, the need to feel good transforms to the need not to feel bad. The cycle is compensatory, in other words, it, the act, serves a purpose. As in all relationships, without validation, negotiation, and compromise, the very first attraction transforms into the conflict that sets the stage for self and other destruction.
Posts Tagged ‘Power of Control’
All behavior is goal directed. In other words behavior serves a purpose. Here is the point: Behavior is a pattern of thinking, feeling, and action. When we talk of addictive behavior, we are referring to the thoughts that trigger the feelings of need that spawn the act of substance abuse.
Our eyes look out and yet we experience within. As a Certified Personal Fitness Trainer, I have witnessed a multitude of times the rationality and irrationality espoused by “we experience within” and the resulting functional and dysfunctional acts that follow. Take for example the ideal of getting into shape.
The first thing that comes to mind is what this person is doing has to serve a purpose. All behavior is goal directed. The goal of all behavior is to maximize comfort and minimize discomfort. In other words, maximize the power of control to one’s personal self while minimizing the loss of power of control to social self.
I have discovered one common factor that links all suicides, and that is the involved validated the wrong thought. Suicide is a desperate act of surrendered avoidance. As pointed out, individuation is key to the self-efficacy to coping with interpersonal conflict, more; it is key to what I refer to as realizing the human condition.