In all relationships, there first exists attraction. As the relationship proceeds, it proceeds according to its compensatory desire. We all want to feel good, and this is the attraction to the use of alcohol and drugs, and just as any want that is not validated, negotiated, and compromised, in a word, RESPECTED, then the want to feel good transitions into the need to feel good. As the relationship continues, the need to feel good transforms to the need not to feel bad. The cycle is compensatory, in other words, it, the act, serves a purpose. As in all relationships, without validation, negotiation, and compromise, the very first attraction transforms into the conflict that sets the stage for self and other destruction.
Posts Tagged ‘power and control’
Mark Kerrigan, brother to the figure skater Nancy Kerrigan had been, “… drinking Scotch and could be heard screaming in the background, cursing his elderly father, who lay supine on their kitchen floor, his pulse halted and his face turning blue.” This is an example of disinhibited impression management, frustration tolerance, and impulse control. Look at the title, “Drunk, angry, abusive, argumentative, and physically violent toward his father.” Now let me put this into perspective applying the MyDiscover Model.
For many of us, we are so lost in our perspectives that we live our lives as victims to time, victims to our own inept life-course. In the waste of how one lives a life, there are no victims, only those who allow themselves to experience that which they experience, what I refer to as a self-imposed incarceration experience.
One last point. Think of the capability of emotion like that of language. We are all born into this world with the capability of language, and yet no one is born speaking a language nor experiencing an emotion. Like language, emotion has to be cultivated, harnessed, defined, refined, and regulated; hence the continuum of fear and desire.