Nurturing a Pet Rock
You struggle, every day is another barrier, no matter what you do you cannot get beyond how you think and feel. Your behavior is self-abusive, you turn to alcohol or drugs to cope, to escape, avoid, find relief from the mental masturbation of “I am no good, it is too hard, I will never be happy.” In effect, you are nurturing a pet rock. You can stroke that rock all day long and not get beyond the life you live. As long as you look to that rock you will not gain one moment of rational perspective.
The reality of your situation is your perspective of power of control. Filled with and anchored to your spoon fed insecurities, you deny your sensitivity as weakness and seek to compensate through your substance abuse and behavior a convoluted sense of security. What you do not realize is you are caught in a cycle between wanting competence yet realizing incompetence, wanting independence, yet realizing dependence. You are driven by avoidance. Stop nurturing your pet rock and start embracing your insecurity; your sensitivity as a strength and not a weakness.
Power of control is self-efficacy, it is the ability to face each and every situation as an opportunity to embrace over a barrier to avoid. You are not a finished product. Your life passes by the click of a clock, your window of opportunity to embrace you loss power of control falls by the days on a calendar. The moment at hand is the one moment you have total control over. Cultivate your discover and let go of the mysticism of what you irrationally seek to recover.
