No one is a finished product!
Why would you choose to drink poison unless it served a purpose?
Fixation is the act of labeling your personal self. Labeling is self-limiting, and as experience has proven, debilitating. No one is a finished product, at least until that point in time when laid horizontal a tag is put on your toe: deceased! Then it doesn’t matter! What does matter is how you frame your personal self in relationship to the world you live; that my friend is called life and life is action.
Recently, I was visiting a friend and during that visit he asked, “Do you mind if I have a beer.” I looked at my friend and said, “Thank you for asking me but please don’t do that.” Looking at me through eyes of ignorance I could see he was confused. I then explained, “When you ask me if I mind if you have a beer, what you are really thinking is “I know you are an alcoholic and probably uncomfortable around alcohol.”
The fact of the matter is, I could care less that my friend drank. It concerns me when people identify me with a behavior that I once involved myself well over two decades past. I am no more at risk of choosing to drink alcohol — and at this point it would be a conscious choice — than I am at choosing to take a glass down from my cupboard, smash it with a hammer, take my right shoe off, and purposefully step on the shard of glass with my foot. The result would be the same.
Indeed people are ignorant and I want to address that ignorance with two simple questions. First: How do you experience your world? Answer: You experience your world through your senses, for example your eyes, your eyes lookout at your social world. You see what you like and what you don’t like, you see what is appealing to you and not appealing; you see what goes on around you. This is how you experience your world, you experience through coventry, or wanting. Wanting is directional. When you want you desire comfort over the fear of discomfort. Your actual wanting however comes through the second question: How do you know your world? Answer: You know your world through your past experiences. Experience teaches, and it is through the lessons learned that you regulate your wanting.
When you look out at your world and experience disappointment within, it is because you are not living the life you want as based upon fixating on the life you lived. In effect, you are threatening yourself with your mind-set and in doing so you fear the failure of incompetence and dependence, as you desire the self-fulfillment, challenge, and purpose of competence and independence. This interplay of wanting is what I refer to as “the” human condition. Indeed the human condition is a wanting condition never satisfied, wanting what, wanting biopsychosocial competence and independence. The human condition is at the core of all addictive behaviors.
The relationship between how you experience your world and how you know your world is motivational. For example, what is the difference between age 19 and 29? The difference is life experience. Like written, experience teaches but only when you are open to the lesson. I know a multitude of people who at the age of 29, experience their lives in time through the disappointments of age 19. Why, because they fixate. Their perspectives of “I am…., It is….., I will….,” equates to “I am not good enough, It is too difficult, and I will never be happy.” This is a defeatous self-fulfilling prophecy; a prophecy dictated by anchoring one self to the past by fixating on regrets, disappointments, and failure. What they then do is anchor themselves to the past by brining the past into the moment and project the lack of opportunity onto the future. Some call this experience “stagnant water where nothing grows,” I call the experience, Sitting In The Shit. You sit in your shit long enough and what happens is you become comfortable. Imagine that, a life of sitting in shit as manifest through your mental masturbation of mentally beating up on yourself with I am…., It is…, I will…,; you connect the dots. I guess once a failure always a failure! Who lives through that mind-set? I know quite a few and they are all ignorant!
Everything is a matter of perspective
When your perspective is self-defeating and limiting, do not expect gain, for all you are doing is nurturing your own insecurity as a weakness. You intimidate your self by your evaluative self. In other words, your insecurity, which is the compilation of evaluative inferiority, inadequacy, and insignificance, is experienced as intimidation. When alternatively, with the perspective of your insecurity as your source of personal and interpersonal strength, your insecurity is then self-enhancing, for then and only then are you open to the proactive opportunity to behavior change. I define behavior as a pattern of thought, emotion, and action. You can experience psychosocial change and gain only through the opportunity of self-improvement. The opportunity for self-improvement is the platform through which you can channel your negative addiction mind-set into a positive addiction mind-set. Channeling your mind-set is mental health in action.